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Blue Star Voices Blogs

Here are the latest entries from all our blogs. Scroll down to read them, or select one these links on the sidebar for the community you're most interested in.

Happy Father's Day | Post date: 06/19/2010 - 21:23

This week, at the Dallas Museum of Art, a National Guard family took advantage of Blue Star Museums and received a little something special. They got a personal tour of the museum from Rocco Landesman, Chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts, and Bonnie Pitman, the Director of the Dallas Museum of Art.

Along the way, they recorded this special message for their deployed service member.

Happy Father's Day from all of us at Blue Star Families.

Blue Star Museums is a parternship between Blue Star Families, the National Endowment for the Arts and more than 750 museums.

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Moms can visit museums too! | Post date: 06/16/2010 - 21:07

by Sherri Brown

photo by Jenny January

My friend Jenny invited me to attend the kickoff for Blue Star Museums. I was excited to hear what it would be like, and how it would affect our summer. Being a mother of 2 young children with a deployed husband, I knew the summer would be long. My daughter was at school but I packed up my 3 year old with lots of snacks and things to keep him busy. Thank goodness my husband got me a jog stroller that he can’t get out of! Brayden is a bit of a scientific-ninja. He's curious about how things work and has to touch everything. That's paired with his ability to be quick, quiet and slip away undetected! The car is packed, off we go…

We arrived at Balboa park early, and quickly found parking which is rare- so we weren’t doing our usual rush to get somewhere. I enjoyed a leisurely stroll past the Organ Pavilion and made it to the San Diego Museum of Art to find kids decked out in “Blue Star Families” shirts, military families from different services, and many reps from various press agencies. I quickly found my friend Jenny and asked her what we should do. She wanted us in the audience, so I found my spot (armed with a portable DVD player and headphones for Brayden). Everyone was excited, talking about the opportunity before them, thinking how they will arrange their summers to see as many museums as possible-which ones will be on the list, and which ones their children will be excited about. I saw other friends from Miramar and we stood in the audience and chatted while we waited for the unveiling. One great thing about living with the military- you learn how to quickly make friends and find things to talk about.

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Support on the Home Front | Post date: 06/16/2010 - 11:00

by Wife on the Roller Coaster

Last week my in-laws visited to offer some relief from my deployment-induced single parenting duties. I took advantage of every second I had to myself. I practically skipped through the aisles of Wal-Mart as I dropped items into a cart that held no screeching toddler. I lounged in my backyard with my laptop, savoring the silence while my children savored Shrek at the movie theatre. But it wasn’t until I disrobed for my full-body massage that I finally allowed myself to admit how much stress the deployment has been piling on me. And as I felt the knots in my back being kneaded away, I realized that I haven’t been utilizing my support system enough. I can’t get through this deployment on my own.

When I first joined the silent ranks of military spouses, I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Our first PSC move went smoothly, and we loved our duty station. My husband worked fairly regular hours and his travel was limited and short. Other than the trip that caused him to almost miss the premature birth of our first child, his military career wasn’t affecting my life a whole lot. Until he got deployed.

Within the first few weeks of the deployment, I got a taste of what being married to the military really meant. I felt I had finally earned my official initiation into the military spouse club. Unfortunately, instead of feeling like a member of a unified club, I felt alone. Besides my family, I had no support system whatsoever. I had no spouse support groups to turn to, and I had only a handful of military friends. My local civilian friends, who couldn’t empathize with what I was going through, gradually stopped calling. As a relatively new military spouse, I wasn’t aware of any organizations that could help me, and I was too overwhelmed and intimidated to seek them out. It was a lonesome, gloomy time for me, and I seriously questioned my ability to sustain this lifestyle for the long term.

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The Impact of a Heart Apart | Post date: 06/15/2010 - 08:48

by Melissa Seligman

My six-year-old daughter looks just like every other child. She runs, jumps, plays, and imagines. But her heavy thoughts plague her. Depression has a grip on her, and her fears and worries ooze from her body, causing her to tremble and shake.

It began five years ago during the second deployment. The one people said “she would be too young to even notice he was gone.” She flailed. Fought. Screamed. Kicked. And banged her head on a linoleum floor until her black and blue forehead mirrored her heart.

Two years ago, those screams turned into deafening silence as she turned inside-out, wanting to prove she loved her “hero” and that even a child is proud. Her body, unable to hide her tumultuous thoughts betrayed her forced smile. She shook. And quivered. As she played, trying to forget he was gone again, her hands trembled.

That silent trembling followed her into the third deployment. It was then that I nearly lost her while she retreated further and further into her pain.

When we began counseling, I first caught a glimpse into her world. As she smiled, fought tears with an “I’m fine, just sniffy” attitude, her hands drew a different story. On the paper, animated in thick crayon textured lines, children played outside while raindrops poured. And as each tear slid down her alabaster cheek and fell onto the thick construction paper, more raindrops poured from her cornflower blue crayon.

I worked with her counselor to learn ways to express anger. Blowing and popping balloons. Punching pillows. Running relay races outside until our bodies had released that growing, thick tension.

At last, after months of counseling, we were there. I was in her world, learning how to help her. Learning what plagued her and silenced her infectious laugh.

Almost.

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Calling all Military Bloggers! | Post date: 06/15/2010 - 00:07
Win a conference pass for BlogHer 2010 in New York!

The bloggers and writers of Blue Star Families spend a lot of time and effort reaching out to the civilian community. While our families are fighting two wars and surviving and thriving all that goes with that, only a small percentage of our nation really knows what our lives are like. We'd like to change that.

As bloggers, we invite people into our worlds every day. As military family bloggers, we invite people into a world of chaos, deployment, kids, family, life, reintegration, red tape, frustation, joys and homecomings. It's a beautiful world and more people should see what goes on in the life of a military family. Now, we'd like to help you reach a broader audience.

The annual BlogHer conference is the largest gathering of blogging women in the world. This year's conference will be in New York City, August 6-7, 2010. From blog design to politics to blogging your passion to changing the world, the BlogHer 2010 conference agenda covers it all. And we hope to see military family bloggers there as well.

We've already heard from several BSF members attending the conference and New Media Director Stephanie Himel-Nelson will be speaking on a panel. If you'll be at BlogHer, leave a comment here or send us a message on Facebook. We're working behind the scenes to pull something fun together for our milfam peeps!

It's not too late, if you'd like to join us. While the BlogHer conference has been sold out for months, Blue Star Families is giving away one fully paid conference admission. That's right. We have a ticket for the hottest sold out blogging show in town. And we want to give it away.

If you'd like the chance to attend BlogHer 2010, here's how you can enter to win:
- Join Blue Star Families
- Write a new blog post about your military family, linking back to http://bluestarfam.org
- Leave your link below
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Mrs. Obama aboard MCB Camp Pendleton | Post date: 06/14/2010 - 17:41

by AnnaMaria Manino White, BSF Communications Director

I don’t usually consider myself an overly-emotional person. But since becoming a military spouse, there seem to be an incredible number of things that make me misty. It probably started when I saw my future husband in uniform on our wedding day. After that, I developed a tear-jerk reaction to those awful white buses that he gets on and off every time he deploys or comes home. Even the national anthem does it to me sometimes. Today, I found another one: the First Lady saying thank you to me and 3,500 Marines, Sailors and their families at Camp Pendleton.

Regardless of politics, it felt great to hear her appreciation of us, and during her speech it became clear that she understands at least some of the challenges of military family life, and has a vision for helping us that I think we can all get behind: “One percent of America may be fighting our wars, but 100 percent of Americans need to be supporting you in that fight,” Mrs. Obama said.

The First Lady and her daughters are on a tour of the US, visiting military families and installations across the country. Today, they came aboard Camp Pendleton, where Mrs. Obama met with families, wounded warriors and command leadership. At the end of her visit, she addressed a crowd of service members and their families, and discussed her goals for helping military families.

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Field Artillery CSM makes a difference in his Soldiers’ lives | Post date: 06/10/2010 - 21:07

By MAJ Stephen Holt, 2nd HBCT Public Affairs

2nd “Spartan” Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division Public Affairs

FORWARD OPERATING BASE MAREZ, Iraq – The Vietnam War had a tremendous impact on the lives of many people, especially following the fall of Saigon in April 1975. In particular, the war impacted Command Sgt. Maj. Hai Dang and his Family, who emigrated to the U.S. following the war’s end.

Along with an estimated 1.4 million refugees who resettled to the United States, was the command sergeant major of 1st Battalion, 9th Field Artillery, Command Sgt. Maj. Dang. He came with his mother, sister, two brothers, and three aunts. Life in a new country wasn’t easy and brought with it many things that took getting used to.

“One of the first American foods I had was a McDonalds hamburger. I thought it was amazing,” Command Sgt. Maj. Dang, an Oxnard, Calif., resident, said. “Something that came out of a wrapper with no preparation needed, and you just stick it in your mouth and eat it. I thought it was wonderful!”

After arriving to the U.S., it took a while for him and his Family to adjust to the change in culture and their new way of life. It was immediately following the war and life for immigrants, particularly the Vietnamese, wasn’t easy.

“We looked and acted like refugees. I remember stepping in front of the automatic door at the supermarket and getting spooked when it would stay open. I remember seeing all the vegetables neatly stacked. It wasn’t like an open market in Vietnam with flies and dirt; it was nice and clean,” he said.

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Staying Focused | Post date: 06/08/2010 - 21:00

by Michelle Galvez

The school year is winding down and my kids and I are having trouble staying motivated for homework while visions of summer excursions and beach outings dance in our heads. Even though school is almost out, education and military families continues to be a top priority in Hampton Roads.

The past two Tuesdays I’ve attended meetings about the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children at local bases. The Compact, signed into Virginia law last year and accepted by 31 states at press time, is designed to address the educational issues that military families face such as graduation requirements, access to special services and other transitional concerns. It was drafted by the Council of State Governments in cooperation with the Department of Defense.

I’d gotten a call from the Patty Gajan, the school liaison officer at Joint Expeditionary Base-Little Creek about a May 18 Family Focus Meeting with Dr. James Merrill, Virginia Beach City Public Schools Superintendent. He was recently appointed by the Governor to serve on the Virginia Council on Interstate Compact for Military Children which was created to coordinate the Compact’s implementation in the state. He wanted to hear first-hand from military families about the most frequent and difficult problems typically encountered when PCSing with kids across state lines.

I figured I might have an experience or two to share since my 6th grader has had seven different schools and our family has moved 11 times in the last dozen years. I had to juggle my children’s soccer and ballet schedules and get a sitter, but with three kids enrolled in the city’s schools for the 2010-11 school year, I also wanted to go and hear the superintendent’s perspective on military families’ concerns.

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A Reconnect Before the Disconnect... | Post date: 06/06/2010 - 03:00

by Jacqueline Goodrich

Today my soldier and I finally made time to do something. I have said for over a year that I wanted to go on a date to the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts and the Blue Star Museums program gave us a reason to go. The opportunity couldn’t have had better timing—bright and early Saturday morning he’ll be leaving again. This time it’s only for three weeks but when you’ve been separated as much as we have you can’t help but think things like “AGAIN? You’re leaving again and we still can’t go with you?!” After spending our first three of marriage living in different states and countries these “little” occasions are still counted as days apart. I know what some of you may be thinking and what some will say to me on Facebook if I let my feelings about this slip. Yes, I’m very thankful he’s not leaving for a year or going off to war. We’ve done that. And, we’ll be doing it again in the future.

That’s why I dislike these “smaller” or “less important” separations. For us this particular farewell is just the start. These three weeks will be my soldier’s last ones with his National Guard unit before he transfers into a job in the Army that will have him gone more often than he’s home. Over the past year we’ve waited for the Guard to release him early and grown more and more frustrated when they didn’t. Now that the time has come, I want the days to drag. For just a little while I want to be a “normal” couple. During most of our entire marriage so far my husband was either in combat or training troops for combat. Operation Iraqi Freedom is given more thought and consideration in our house than what we should have for dinner each night.

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Communication Breakdown | Post date: 06/04/2010 - 03:00

by Wife on the Roller Coaster

Communication during deployments has come a long way. I feel spoiled when I think about my fellow military spouses of a generation ago who didn’t have the luxury of the technological advances we have today. Nowadays, we have email, Skype, Facebook, and blogs. Even letters and care packages sent through snail mail arrive at their destinations at an alarmingly rapid rate. As difficult as it is to be apart from our service members, most of us can’t complain about our means of communication.

I often wonder if my conversations with my husband during his deployment would be different if we didn’t have such a vast means of communication. Thanks to email, I can tell him anything at any time. But sometimes I question whether I should tell him everything. I don’t know how much he wants or needs to hear about the life he’s missing at home. He should be concentrating on his job, not worrying about his family on the home front.

Should I tell him about the rough days even though I know that my hardships can’t compare to his? I don’t know if I should tell him about stepping on a rusty nail in the attic and my subsequent tetanus shot. I don’t know if he needs to know about our washing machine that kept stubbornly tripping a breaker and the electrician who offered no answers other than our breaker box requires serious reorganization. Then there are the trips to the clinic and the auto shop, the rumors about the family of foxes roaming our neighborhood, and his plants that I somehow managed to murder (although technically it’s manslaughter because after all, I didn’t plan to kill them). Does he want to hear these things or does hearing them make him feel helpless?

How do I handle phone calls when I’m in a bad mood? Most of the time, the simple hello on the other end is enough to turn my rotten mood around. But there are times when the atmosphere in my house is beyond recovery. When both kids are throwing tantrums and I escape to the backyard so I can actually hear his voice over World War III, I still have to deal with my 2-year-old daughter running outside after me. Naked. I can’t exactly call him back when I’m in a better mood or the kids aren’t stripping off their clothes to wrestle. And I don’t want him hanging up the phone thinking his wife has lost her mind.

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