by Wife on the Roller Coaster

The roller coaster has begun.  The deployment, still in its infancy, is gradually sinking in.  Sometimes I feel like my husband is simply on routine travel, and he’ll walk through that door any day with a bag full of dirty laundry and homecoming presents for the kids.  But deep down I know it’s different this time.  I feel it in both the conspicuous presence and absence of what makes our family of four complete.

Present is the bar of soap in the shower that no longer dwindles each day.  Should I toss it before it leaves a permanent scar on my shower ledge or save it because it’s one of the last things he touched?

Present is the itchy case of poison ivy snaking down my back that my husband generously shared with me before he left.  I can’t complain too much though because that poison ivy is a direct result of the hours of yard work I didn’t have to do.

Present is the stack of unread magazines sitting on his nightstand.  They continue to arrive in the mail, not knowing that the subscriber isn’t here to read them (and his wife isn’t particularly interested in improving her golf swing).

Sometimes I feel like a fraud.  Like I don’t belong here with all the other Blue Star Families members.

You see, I’m not married to the military like so many of our volunteers.  I don’t have a good “story” to tell of deployments gone wrong, solo moves, and year long separations from my spouse.  I got involved in the Blue Star organization as my husband was retiring from the Navy Reserves.  His active duty years were long gone by the time I entered the picture.

While I’ve attended lots of “picnics” as a reservist’s wife, I’ve only sat through a pre-deployment meeting once in my life and I’ve never been forced to attend a Hail and Farewell. The only retirement ceremony I’ve attended was my husband’s, although I missed most of that because I was trying to keep my toddlers from climbing the giant bee (Seabee) out front!

I mean, yes, I’m the New Media Director for Blue Star Families.  I do a lot of work for BSF because I feel so strongly that military families need more support.  But the military doesn’t affect my daily life in any major way, aside from when my ID card expires and I can’t get on base to take my kids to their favorite beach at Little Creek.

I am, however, a military sister – my brother returned from deployment at the end of 2008 and is scheduled to head out again next year.  Perhaps more importantly, I’m also a military brat.

My father spent 20 years in the Air Force and I grew up all over the world.  One of the most problematic questions you can ask me, or any military brat, is “Where are you from?“  Frequently I don’t know how to answer.  Sometimes I say I’m from Louisiana, where I was born and both of my parents are from.  Sometimes I say I’m from Nebraska, where I went to high school, met and married my husband, and my parents still live.  But most often I simply say, “I’m a military brat.”  Most people understand.

Military brats are a feisty bunch and yes, we have a reputation.  We’ve moved a lot.  We make friends easily.  We stop and stand at attention whenever we hear our national anthem.  And yes, we love our country and its military, often fervently.  We tend to join the military at higher rates than civilian children and, despite spending our childhoods swearing we would not, we tend to marry the military as well.

by Casey Spurr

Please welcome BSF columnist and volunteer, Casey Spurr.  Casey authors the new BSF column Just Add Jet Noise and also serves on her congressman's Military Family Affiars Committee.  She lives in Virginia Beach with her husband and their little boy.  To contact Casey, send an e-mail to casey.spurr@gmail.com. 

Some of the best memories of my life are from vacations I have taken to Walt Disney World in Orlando.  I have fond memories of my first trip there with my parents as a young child and later vacations in high school and college.  Most recently, my husband and I took off for a quick Disney vacation two years ago just weeks before a deployment because we wanted to be at “the happiest place on Earth”, a moniker well-deserved.  A trip to Disney is simply like no other, and I wish every child could have the opportunity to experience the magic of this place at least once.

Disney World isn’t just for kids though.  With four theme parks – The Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Disney Hollywood Studios, and Animal Kingdom – as well as two water parks, golf, water sports, and a myriad of other options, there is truly something for everyone.  There is so much to do that you could never do it all in one trip.