• Reintegration - Phase 11 (an excerpt from 400 Days) | 08/20/2009 - 02:00

    400 DaysDanette Hayes is the BSF Co-Director for National Guard and Reserve Outreach and the author of 400 Days, a book about her National Guard family's deployment journey.

    Rich and I have immersed ourselves into civilian lives once again. I wish I could say it’s been easy, but the reality is, it has not.  We renewed our wedding vows on August 30, 2008.  Our best man eighteen years ago was Rich’s brother, John, so we found it quite fitting that he officiate our renewal.  It was a casual affair on the deck, surrounded by our family, who each did a reading.  Unlike the church wedding we had before, this was all our doing, words that we chose, readings and music that didn’t have to be approved by the church. It was a true representation of our life together.

    Our best friends, Greg and Shari Merritt, assisted John as officiates of the ceremony, and we loved having them stand with us. We’ve all been through this separation, and this almost felt like we all renewed a vow to continue being there for each other.  We bought each of the children an Irish wedding band and exchanged them during the ceremony.  David and Susan read from Lord of the Rings about change. Makayla read from the Velveteen Rabbit about how growing old and being real doesn’t hurt, it just happens. Kelly sang “What a Wonderful World.” She practiced for weeks with our friend Jimmy who played guitar for us and sang Led Zeppelin’s “Thank You,” something that never would’ve been approved in our Catholic ceremony eighteen years ago. This was the most memorable wedding I’ve ever been a part of, and I wish I had videotaped it. Shari and Meredith, being the crazy ladies they are, made us a heart-shaped cake with a Barbie and Ken dressed in Parrothead attire. They even cut Barbie’s hair to resemble my haircut and shaved Ken’s head to reflect Rich’s crew cut. True to form, my crazy ladies brought my favorite tequila, Patrón, and the evening ended on a happy note.

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  • Books on Bases Event in Wilmington, NC | 07/28/2009 - 02:00

    Books on Bases, Blue Star FamiliesWelcome guest blogger, Gabrielle Lowe.

    Last weekend we had the pleasure of being invited to Wilmington's National Guard base to meet with guard families. I was joined by the Gabriel family and Claire Woodward, our BSF Executive Director. We passed out books from our "Books on Bases, Smiles on Faces" program to all the children in attendance.

    We met with the spouses of guard members and told them about Blue Star Families. We put temporary tattoos on the kids, passed out books, and even got to dance to a live bluegrass band during lunch. I almost forgot, we even got to meet with the McGruff crime dog in the flesh ...err fur?

    While the children were there they also learned about what the Army National Guard is and what their parents do in the guard. There were mini classes given to each age group to explain what different jobs there are and to explain military life. We got the pleasure of meeting each child and give them a book from their age group. We also got a chance to talk to them and tell them a little about us and who we are.

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  • The Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program | 07/16/2009 - 02:00

    yellow ribbonThe Yellow Ribbon Reintegration program was established under the 2008 National Defense Authorization Act . The program's goal is to prepare service members and their families for deployment, sustain the family and service member through deployment and help reintegrate them back into their civilian communities when they return.

    Because most civilian soldiers (NG/Reserve) return to their private lives after deployment, it's essential that the soldiers have an opportunity to reconnect with their fellow comrades and families to talk out their experiences. The Yellow Ribbon program has a 30, 60 and 90 day connect point where soldiers and families are guided through dialogues, counseling sessions and also informational sessions on what to expect, how to handle PCS, and other issues that may come up after deployment.

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  • 400 Days by Danette Hayes | 07/14/2009 - 02:00

    400 DaysBlue Star Families' Director of National Guard/Reserve Outreach, Danette Hayes, has written a book about her National Guard family's experience with activation and deployment.  We asked Danette to tell us about the publishing experience and how the book came about. You can purchase 400 Days now and 5% of the proceeds will go to support military families.

    I was approached by a local newpaper columnist to do an interview shortly before September 11, 2009, based off a letter I sent to the editor. Turns out the letter was too long to publish as a letter but they wanted to do an interview.

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  • Duties that are Best Shared - Go Read It! | 03/15/2009 - 02:00

    In the Washington Post last week, Matthew Bogdanos, a Marine Corps reservist, shared a wonderful essay on the divide between the civilian and military worlds.  He writes eloquently about how military veterans (and their families) no longer have the sort of shared cultural and generational experiences like the World War II and even Vietnam generations did.  He reminds us:

    As the British general Sir William Butler warned a century ago, "A nation that will insist upon drawing a broad line of demarcation between the fighting man and the thinking man is liable to find its fighting done by fools and its thinking done by cowards."

    Bogdanos goes on to say:

    Without greater understanding between the military and civilian worlds or, better, a return to a synthesis of the two, we risk a future without all of us working toward the same ends -- whatever society decides those ends should be. And we risk misusing military force because of misunderstandings about what it can and can't do or, once used, its being prematurely withdrawn because of unrealistic expectations. The solution is an educated citizenry that understands its soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines -- understands that we are you.

    Go read it.

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  • BSF Weekly Round-up for July 21, 2009 | 07/21/2008 - 02:00

    Blue Star Families, Blue Star VoicesBlue Star Families Weekly News Round-Up

    All the Latest in Everything Blue Star Families

    Welcome!   It's been another busy week with Blue Star Families and we are proud to announce that Wanda Castellaw and Janet Breslin-Smith will be joining Sheila Casey on our Advisory Board.  We're also incredibly proud of our own Chloe Karmarck and her Vouge.com article titled "Manhattan's Army Wife".  Check out the link and the ton of other news in this week's roundup.

    BSF-logo FINAL 71509We are working hard on the creation of our new Blue Star Families website and on-line community we expect to launch in early August.  Check out below how YOU can help make connecting together even easier and more exiting.

    If you would like to subscribe to this weekly newsletter, just visit our Join Us page at www.BlueStarFam.org.  If you want BSF info and links to articles and events more than once a week with our Weekly News & Info Roundup, join us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and check out our Blue Star Families Blog

    There's a lot of excitement about Blue Star Families and the best way to make sure you are in the middle of it all is to join your local chapter.  Just shoot Vivian a note at members@bluestarfam.org and she'll get you connected.

    Enjoy! Heidi & the Blue Star Families Team

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