by Janet McCoy

Earlier this year after much soul searching and discussion, my husband and I decided to divorce. After eight years of marriage, the birth of our son Drew, three career changes for me, four combat deployments and five military moves – with another one looming on the horizon – we just weren’t able to make it work anymore.

Divorce happens all the time, especially in the military, and I’m aware that this is not unusual. According to one study, the divorce rate in the Army doubled from 2001 to 2004, which certainly validates the argument that the increased OPTEMPO due to two simultaneous wars is putting great strain on our military families.

I’ve made it through the trials of separation: dividing investments, property and bank accounts, completing mediation including child support and a visitation agreement, moving out, buying a new home and enrolling our son in a new school. Now, I’m just waiting for the time to tick by so I can file the divorce papers and the process will be complete.

But, here is the biggest hurdle. How do you explain to a six year old that the Army is sending Daddy overseas for the next three years? D-Day (Departure Day) as I’ve begun to refer to it is only 20 days away. I am sure the time will fly and before we know it and I’ll have to take Drew to see his dad off. I’m not sure I can summon the words to describe how much I dread that day. Not for myself; I’ve made peace with all that has happened and I’m quite happy with the direction my life is headed. I dread it for my son. In his mind, I’m sure he’s thinking, “Daddy will be back soon.” I hope I have the strength to guide him through this and help him cope with the huge changes that are headed his way.