Published: June 25, 2021
Moving frequently is an inevitable, but difficult, part of life as a military family. In fact, 600,000 service members and their families, 400,000 active-duty and 200,000 veterans, relocate with the military every year. While moving is an exciting adventure, it also means leaving support systems, friends, jobs, and the overall comfort of truly belonging to a community. Military families are left to find new doctors and hairdressers, figure out where to grocery shop and get their car fixed, and enroll in new schools and set up Individualized Education Plans. But often the most challenging part of starting over in a new location is the need to build new relationships. Building a friendship takes time, and time is something military families don’t always have.
The 2020 Military Family Lifestyle Survey found that only one third of active-duty family respondents (35%) agree they can find people in their local civilian community to relate to. It can be hard when you feel like the new kid in town. Katya, an Army spouse and mom of two, is no stranger to those struggles. Her family has moved five times with the military, and they are about to move again. When asked about finding a support system after every move, Katya shared: “Sometimes, it is difficult to get close to people just because of how hard it is to say goodbye. It is a defense mechanism. Most likely, we won’t ask for help, even when we need it. And sometimes, we really need it.”
This upcoming move is particularly stressful for Katya. Her children are getting older and both are in elementary school, which means this transition will uproot them from their friends and teachers who have become very important to them. It is essential to recognize and address these struggles because we know when there is stress at home, mission readiness suffers. That’s why Blue Star Families is stepping up and working hard to be the liaison for military families to connect with their community and build those important bonds.
For Katya and her family, getting involved with Blue Star Families has made a major difference. “We move so much and it takes a lot of effort to build meaningful relationships,”
Katya said. “Blue Star Families creates events and an atmosphere to help facilitate the development of relationships. With Blue Star Families’ support, finding resources, gatherings, and good places is so much easier. Because we know we have Blue Star Families programs in our new community, we already feel at home.”
Her involvement has meant so much that Katya wanted to return the favor. After participating in Blue Star Families’ START book club program, Katya raised her hand to volunteer. She has been working with the Tennessee Chapter Director, Karissa, to organize a new follow-on series called the READY book club, designed for families who have participated in the other book clubs and are ready for a greater challenge. “The START and READY programs are wonderful,” Katya shared. “Through the series, we met military and civilian families, and went through weeks of programs together. That allowed us to really get to know people. We’ve met with some families outside of the programs now as well and, thanks to Blue Star Families’ efforts, we’ve made some real friends.”
As your family approaches a military move, now or in the future, Blue Star Families will be with you every step of the way to provide support—from transferring employment to finding friends. Because the bottom line is, as military families like yours move to new communities, they should feel not only welcome but also a genuine sense of belonging.
To learn more about the resources available to you and your family, visit bluestarfam.org.
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