Published: June 14, 2021
Military life is difficult because it’s unpredictable. From frequent moves and long-term separation due to deployments and training, to long and demanding work schedules that aren’t family-friendly, it can be a challenge to find balance. All of those uncertainties put a lot of pressure on military spouses, and make it difficult for them to find and maintain successful careers. In fact, according to the 2020 Military Family Lifestyle Survey, spouse employment was listed as the top issue for active-duty families, and 1 in 5 active-duty service member respondents reported “concerns about spouse employment” as a reason they would leave military service. That’s a major problem. If we can’t retain strong service members, mission readiness will suffer.
Lauren, an Army spouse and small business owner, has experienced those hardships firsthand. “As a small business owner, it’s especially difficult to navigate starting over after every move,” Lauren explained. “Oftentimes, it feels more difficult to MOVE a business than to START one! There is no wading into the shallow end when you move a business to a new place. You have to hit the ground running day one in order to establish yourself in a new market that you’ll only be in for a short time.” But Lauren remains focused on the positives. Building her business in each new location forces her to immerse herself in her new community—meeting new people and exploring her new resources.
Building those connections not only supports her business efforts but also provides a wonderful network to lean on as Lauren navigates military life. And that network doesn’t just include other military families. “Military families are amazing at sharing their experiences and helping others learn from their successes and failures,” Lauren said. “It’s hard to know what you don’t know before you head to a new place, so the resources military families share really help. I also really believe in getting to know people outside of the military bubble. It’s easy to get sucked into only being friends with people who understand our unique military experience, but I think it’s important to meet all kinds of people during our military years and to build belonging to our community.”
Lauren knows she has an advocate in her corner helping her make those connections, both personally and professionally. With each move, Lauren connects with Blue Star Families to find local resources and events that empower her to network and create community. “I think what Blue Star Families is doing for military families and especially with spouse employment is SO important,” Lauren said. “Moving my career from duty station to duty station is one of the most difficult things for me to navigate about this life, and that’s without major licensing issues like some professions have! I appreciate that Blue Star Families is advocating for our military family members and their desire and need to get to work!”
Now, Lauren faces a new challenge. Her family’s upcoming permanent change of station [PCS] will take them overseas to Italy. As a professional organizer, Lauren may have a leg up when it comes to packing and preparing for the move. However, living overseas means sacrificing her business because military spouses can’t earn income while abroad due to a status of forces agreement (SOFA). Such an agreement is made with a host country at a U.S. military base overseas, often restricting spouses from being employed or operating a business.
We heard from some of these spouses in the 2020 Military Family Lifestyle Survey. Three percent of active-duty spouse respondents reported “I cannot work because of SOFA restrictions” as a reason they are not currently employed. “Not being able to take my business with me this move was a tough pill to swallow, honestly,” Lauren said. “I started my professional organizing career before I even met my husband, so in a lot of ways, my business was my first baby! I’ve been working with my therapist who has helped me reframe this sacrifice over the past several months. I’m choosing to view this time as an ‘active hibernation’ for my business.”
Lauren isn’t alone when facing this kind of challenging circumstance as seven percent of active-duty family respondents to the 2020 Military Family Lifestyle Survey live outside the U.S. Nonetheless, Lauren remains positive. “Even though I’m unable to earn an income while living in Italy, I plan on focusing on the aspects of my business I’m normally too busy to do when I’m on site with clients 40+ hours a week,” she shared. “Don’t expect to see me slink off into the shadows anytime soon! I also adore volunteer projects, so I expect to spend a lot of time helping military organizations like Blue Star Families while I’m on this sabbatical.”
Lauren is already getting a jump on those volunteer efforts. As she prepares for her big move, she let us in on some of her best tips for staying organized if you, too, are about to embark on a PCS:
- Get your to-do list out of your head and onto paper. Your mind is for thinking, not for storage. Even if this is your 11th PCS, it’s still stressful to try to remember everything that needs to be done and when it needs to occur. There are great PCS checklists you can start from and customize to your own personal moving style, but the key is to just start one and build from there!
- Gather all of your organizing bins, baskets, and drawer organizers before your PCS and create your own little Container Store that you can “shop” while unpacking. It helps you not get stuck thinking a certain bin has to be for a particular item just because that’s how it was used in your last home. As a bonus, Lauren has found that bins and baskets get broken less often if they’re gathered and packed separately from the contents!
- Move in band-aid style…painful but quick! Set a very specific goal for yourself— maybe three weeks from move-in day—to get final moving tasks done. Often, the very last step is hanging everything on the walls, so that’s what motivates Lauren to get everything else done. Watch her PCS Prep Kit video for extra tips for hanging things up!
Bonus Tips for Overseas Moves:
- You have to be a lot more specific about packing because you can’t just throw last minute things in the car. Do a dry run of packing your suitcases a few weeks before, and make sure you can live with just those items for the 60+ days of traveling and quarantining in a hotel.
- Consider your closet space, or lack thereof! Take that into consideration when making your packing lists. Separate your items into storage, unaccompanied baggage, hand carry, and pro gear piles. Consider leaving things with family or in storage that would take up a lot of space, and even those meaningful items that are better off with you versus risking them getting damaged in a move.
Whether you’re moving with the military this summer or not, we aim to be your go-to place to connect, find support, and build enduring relationships. Explore all the ways we’re able to support your well-being at bluestarfam.org.
Posted In: