Army Veteran Focuses Retirement on Building a Brighter Military Future for her Children

Published: July 1, 2021

Meet CT. She’s a mom of two and recently retired from the Army after serving 24 years. What’s next on her journey? She’s taking on the important role of Racial Equity and Inclusion Director for Blue Star Families, managing the DEPLOY Fellow Program under Blue Star Families’ Racial Equity and Inclusion Initiative. 

Why step into this role after retirement? Because after 24 years of service, nine moves, six deployments and long-term separations, and raising two children, CT has experienced firsthand the many challenges military families, in general, face each and every day. What’s more, she has also experienced the unique obstacles of being a military family of color.

For CT, the concern wasn’t as much about the situations she had to navigate as a service member of color, but more so about what her family at home was dealing with. And CT definitely wasn’t alone. In fact, according to the 2020 Military Family Lifestyle Survey, over a third (38%) of active-duty service member respondents report that “concerns about the impact of military life on my family” was a reason they would choose to leave military service, making it the most common reason. Why is that a problem? If we can’t ensure families at home are taken care of, then we will lose talented, qualified service members. Mission readiness as a whole will suffer. 

“The concern for me was where we would be sent with the military,” CT shared. “We moved nine times with the military and often didn’t have much control over where we were sent. On top of the stress already of missing more birthdays, anniversaries, and family reunions than I can count, when we were stationed in Mississippi, my then 13-year-old son experienced racial profiling on two separate occasions in our neighborhood. After these two incidents, I no longer felt safe in the community that I lived in. So, after many hard conversations, I made the decision to send my son to my home of record to start and complete high school. That was four tough years he did not live with me.” 

Military families already manage countless stressful situations — deployments, moves, and long and inflexible work schedules. Now, many are adding where they live, the safety and opportunities available for their children, to that list of stressors. How prevalent is the problem? The 2020 #BSFSurvey found that nearly a quarter (23%) of active-duty family respondents report they had geo-bached (when a military family chooses to live in a different location from the service member) in the last five years. The most common reasons are for spouse employment or their children’s education. Nearly a quarter of active-duty families like CT’s are making the impossible choice to live separately to give their children or spouse better opportunities. That should never be a decision military families feel compelled to make. 

“Oftentimes, in the military, you hear individuals express how we only ‘see green’ and how there is no race that is seen,” CT explained. “But service members today don’t always live on the installation. We live within the civilian community. Our children attend civilian schools. Our spouses work in the local area. And, unfortunately, in those communities, we are not seen as service members, we are seen by the color of our skin — first.”

At Blue Star Families, we talk a lot about bridging the gap; creating connections between the civilian and military communities, so military families have the support and resources they need to thrive. If military families of color don’t feel welcome and accepted by their communities, we will always fall short of accomplishing our mission. For that reason, we knew we needed to do something to create change. From that desire, the Racial Equity and Inclusion Initiative and DEPLOY Fellows Program was born. 

“DEPLOY Fellows is a Blue Star Program within our Racial Equity and Inclusion Initiative (REI) designed to diversify and expand the pipeline of leaders in the military community,” said Kathy Roth-Douquet, CEO and Founder of Blue Star Families. “The effort will embed and train individuals from historically underrepresented populations into Blue Star Families’ organization as paid staff in national and Chapter roles. Through our training, we’ll seed a new generation of leaders throughout the Veteran and military family support space.”

With tremendous leadership experience, an intimate knowledge of the service member experience, and a passion for creating positive change within the military community, CT stands ready to lead the first cohort of DEPLOY Fellows. In her role, she will focus on raising awareness of the race-based disparities and issues that exist for military families of color in the hopes of creating a path of understanding. CT is so motivated to see positive changes for families. Why? Because both of her children are now serving in the military — her daughter in the U.S. Air Force and her son following his mother’s path by joining the U.S. Army. “They share their experiences with me,” CT said. “Their feedback continues to validate that what we are doing at Blue Star Families is important, necessary, and critical.”

Join CT’s children in sharing your experiences with us. The Racial Equity and Inclusion Initiative and DEPLOY Fellows Program were created after hearing from and listening to military families like yours. And we don’t want to stop there. Take the survey to share your diverse experience as a military family of color. Tell us what challenges your family continues to face and opportunities you are looking for to enrich life as a military family. Together we can impact change.